Librarian In Training

2003-04-10T08:37:00.000-07:00

I don't beleive it....i might have a real job!!!!

I had resigned myself to my current status, of being part-time employed in a dark hold of a library. I was lookign for any ohter parttime employment, with the midset a part-time job is just a part-time job, I will focus on school, (I felt a renewed sense of afinity toward academic librarianship). I figured this is jsut the way it is..I went on interiews and I was just unemployable.

I have suffered traumas in my life, and I ahve to say job searching absolutely sucks. I mean especially once you have graduated (as I have not, I was slightly consolable) all fresh with your degree, and it turns out the best job you can get is something you could ahve done w/o the degree.....it is just so so depressing. It is hard to really express in words, but so many of my friends who went out to look for jobs after graduating suffered this fate. Is it just the economy? I hope so..and the economy is cyclical, so it will get better eventually, soon. THe whole bachelor's degree thing is liek a let down, in this current day. You finish high school and you were so excited to go away to school, or stay home, bu tto everyone who asked, you were in 'college'. Very noble, even community college, provided you left the place within a decent amount of time, but all the same, it justified any shitty thing you were feeling and/or doing, becasue you had this goal, and it was all jsut a means to an end. And we were always told how important a degree was...but is it anymore?? I totally beleive in schooling, I really do. And I guess one with a bachelors degree is better off than one without...but Jesus, it is not apparent to any of us who recently got them anymore. And we had practical majors...business, education...but my business friends are in jobs that they coudl ahve gottne without the degree, and none of thier coworkers have them. Half of my teacher friends work at catholic schools in bad neighborhoods, for honestly no money. Everyone knows that private schools underpay, but usually accompanied with that is a tamer breed of child...not that case in those schools.

Anyway, back to me...I got offered a full-time job I interviewed for two weeks ago. I dont knwo what to do..I was finally ok with my lack of a fulltiem job, thinking ok, I will just have to turn over everything I ever make to the US Dept of Ed. and finish school by next May...but then this happened. Ok the job is not exactly what I want to do..(youth Services has a strangle hold on me) but there are so many pay-offs...the salary is so-so, but more than my parttime job..Its seems like I would be busy there, not always trying to look busy, which I suck at, and the benefits kick ass, and they pay half of my tuition...so the US dept. of Ed will only own like half of my soul.

The woman woke me up with her call at 930..I know, I am a sack of lazy sleep..I dont have class til 1. So groggily I was like wow, thanks, may I call you back tomorrow for my final word? and she said to call Saturday, cause she wouldn't be in Friday, and I was like OK. you know what better money means? New clothes:) This means I can buy two plain sweaters from Old Navy, instead of one, and then scavenging for it months later on the clearance rack. I have arrived. THe only think that causes me hesitation..is I am a chicken. What if I suck? I already knwo I am not totally into the YS scene...but it is a means to an end..a means that gives me five personal days a year, and half of my tution....I think I am giving myself an ulcer. I am a nervous person..I was always this way. In the seventh grade, I was really freaked out by my nut of a science teacher, who drank Scope in between classes, I always had a stomach ache. I realize now it was psychosematic, but at the time, my stomach always hurt. The fact that he drank scope between classes wasnt why he freaked me out. I was scared because 7th grade was the first year we had to start doing lab expiriments, and write reports about them. It was so high pressure.

2003-03-30T20:54:00.000-08:00

I went to visit my good friend Meg at Purdue, for her birthday weekend. Meg turned the big 2-4 Friday, officially entering her mid-twenties. Meg laments the fact that when not at Purdue she still has to share a 9 by9 foot room with her 20 year old sister. When her parents threatened to start collecting rent upon her undergraduate graduation a year ago, she asked what was the going rate these days for the top bunk of a walk-in closet? Meg's parents decided to forego charging her rent.

Now Meg lives in a comparatively spacious dorm room in the graduate housing complex in West Lafayette, IN.

We had a fun weekend, but the stomach churning troubles of my crap job were never far from my mind. Though I no longer tear at teh thought fo the situation, it still is one that is unbearable for much longer. I have so my animosity/resentment toward my boss, her actions, and my place of employment, I need to leave as soon as possible.

My undergraduate degree is in business management, and I am lookign into temping agencies. I knwo a few peopel who have gone through them, and it is a good way to hook yourself up with a job, especially since jobs are not very easy to come by lately. I think I will take the summer off from library school, and give myself a chance to regroup, and think about what I want to do with my life. I really don't know lately, but I am certain it is nothing I have right now.

2003-03-25T21:53:00.000-08:00

I hate my job

I don't care if by some chance anyone ever read this and figured out who this blog belongs to. Just can me. My boss basically implied I would no longer have a job because of my taking two night classes for 6 weeks this summer. What the hell kind of manager in a library threatens you for taking library masters classes?? I work part-time. My whopping 15 hours a week, and you expect me to not take two classes? It is a Masters degree, most classes are at night? What the hell? I do not go to Moraine Valley. I cannot take any class virtually anytime I choose, I had to claw for these shitty ones.
She doesnt want to work any nights, and acts as if it is asking her to climb a mountain backwards, because she has 'things to do.'

My supervisor's things to do, thereby preventing her from working any night:

-mourn the loss of her hamster. (I am not kidding)
-watch TV with her boyfriend.
-regroup after a long day of bitching about how bored she is at work(the library).
-think about new and better ways to make employees under her supervison cry in front of all other members of the department.
-play bunco

Today was by far the worst work expirience of my life. I wish I could never ever go back. I would swipe my picture and my coffee mug, and my picture of George W and the pope where the pope looks like he is smacking his forehead while George is talking. The meeting ended with me crying. SO much of what went on at the meeting was bullshit, unfair and unfounded.
my supervisor needs to learn basic management skills.

I dont want to go back.

2003-03-23T22:45:00.000-08:00

This weekend has sucked something awful. Friday was ok, work was the usual, and I learned we are having an unpresidented meeting on Tuesday morning. I am pretty anxious about that one, the managers meeting was liek 4 hours long last week, it is pretty certain the meeting is bad news. The only idea that comforts me is this: If I, personally, was going to get reemed, chances are I would be reemed in private, and not during a meeting that everyone kind of had to jiggle thier schedules to attend. Well actually there are only four of us, and I was the only one who had to jiggle, but close enough.

THis week is goign to be very very busy. I have an interview at Berwyn Public Library wednesday morning, and I am nervous/excited. It is in youth(I try to escape youth services, but every which way I turn I am firmly clutched by it) but it seems kind of cool. Way cooler than the present situation. It is fulltime :) and that is always a good thing. I kind of dread the summer that is quickly approaching. I work negative hours, and will have a lot of free time, seeing as the summer scheduling at Dominican sucks. I probably will (IF I CAN GET IN THEM) take 2 classes over the summer. That might change slightly if I get a fulltime job between now and then. So if I do not land a fulltime job, I will hardly work, and barely any school work to take up my time.

Anyways, back to the suck-butt weekend. Friday afternoon at work, I call Lee on my break. He hints at beign upset and me and having something bad to tell me. I hate it when he does this, it always freaks me out, I get totally nerved out and end up getting really pissed and yellign at him to jsut tell me what the hell is wrong right then and there. We king of got into it, but I had to get back to work. I am trapped at the reference desk, when the creepy guy who was nearly kicked out for a year came in and started staring at everyone and asking everyone for tylenol. I was very upset(not about the creep, about Lee) and I called him back, wrote him an email, we basically patched it up.

Friday night, Lee and I are back to good again, and we go to a bar with some of his music friends. Brendan is the most anal annoying guy I have ever met, but his fiance Jess is a sweetheart. Collectively they are the youngest most right-winged people in existance. So of course while drinking we have to listen to Bren and Jess's right-winged commentary on the War. It was mindnumbing. Isn't one of the benefits of drinking to forget that kind of stuff? Apparently not.
I am not super left, personally. People who are totally anti-war kind of get me too. I mean Hussien is totally inhumane. He torures civilians based on ethnicity. Not my point, peopel who are so vehemently for or against war annoy me.

Why?

Well my take is this. I am not a military strategist, nor is anyone I know. Not Bren, not Jess, not my friend Kerry's pretensious super-left friends, nobody. To vehemently take a side, either side, is to act on passion and emotions, and not on facts or intelligence or even ideas of morality(that many people on both sides claim to motivate thier ideology).

Anyone who claims a side is using the situation to shout thier politics. The lefters attend protests with romantic idealism, using thier attendance as proof, a badge of how hip-humane-radical-anti-the-man they are. The righters show thier support of the war so they can claim how patriotic they are, how mighty we(US) are, how we(US) are the great white hope of the world.

I am a coward. I know I am. My politics are based on how it directly affects me. War? I would be against it if I had to be involved in it, personally. If my friends were drafted, I would cry Vietnam too. I am left to a degree. I signed a petition against the war, but seeing protesters sometimes makes me wish I hadn't. I am not liek them, protesting all war, no matter what.

Also, they say this is an oil war, the US is just protecting its interests. Ok, Probably true. The United States has always acted in this manner, protecting its monetary interests. Everyone in this country lives the life they do, in one of the most affluent countries of the world because of this fact. Everyone, including protestors, benefits from an amalgum of 200+ years of these kinds of actions. It reminds me of Socrates a bit and his city-state law argument. I am not saying it is wrong or right or just or immoral. But it is something to think about. We are affluent mostly due to actions such as this. Would people trade the lifestyle they have?

2003-03-19T16:41:00.000-08:00

Many things are happening lately, and I will do my best to touch on them:

First off, this past weekend was the South Side Irish Parade. I actually kind of hate the parade, but I am from the South Side, and when you are from here, and especially if you go to a Catholic high school everyone acts like it is the biggest and most sacred holiday after Easter and Christmas. Really, it is every high schooler's best hope that everyone will get so into the spirit of St Patrick's Day that this is thier best shot of getting to drink with minimal repercussions. The whole day is an excuse to be drunk on Western Avenue. Don't get me wrong, I drink, but soon after high school the blatant public display of excess on the day of the parade became kind of embarrassing. People act like it is thier one shot to drink...even people who, and I can attest to this, drink pretty much everyday. They would show up at the drive-up of the bank drinking beer in thier pick-up trucks. Completely redneck, and you don't even need to leave the city of Chicago to find it.

On to other topics:

GIVING BACK TO THE WEB

I am thinking the tabloid idea is not panning out. I mean sure there is tons of crap on the Internet, but to parallel it with obvious crap from the junk papers, I don't know. I mean obviously the stuff in Weekly World News is crap, and obviously stuff on the Internet has crap potential. But they are different kinds of crap. The main difference that I see, and I doubt this translate really in any way as a contribution to the web, is (1)Many people do no know how to tell what is crap on the web and what is not. I mean there are a few tell-tale signs...is the source verifiable, is a source even named? Are they trying to sell you something? Do they make you divulge personal information? Is it too good to be true? etc.

So, I jsut don't think I can explore that venue in such a way that warrants a term project. I think I will have to do a paper(fun). I am tired of filters, but I am not sure how long or the breadth of this paper. I considered making a website, but I had some questions about that. We are learning about commercial(free) web sites. I wonder, if I constructed a web site along the lines of a young adult book discussion site on a commercial site like that..is that appropriate for the project? Plus, as of know, I can only discuss a few books now, maybe adding more over time, maybe linking them to author web sites, and NoveList discussion questions. But if the indivdual views my site on a computer at thier house, the link to NoveList would be dead to them.
But like I said I am so sick of talking about filters. The only interesting point any one has raised in regard to Internet filters was the article we read in class about the Core Values. Librarians do censure everything in the library's collection. Isn't that a part of collection development? Maybe filters don't fall under collection development becasue it doesn't block out sites based on false or questionable reputability of the infomation, but because it is possibley obscene. Before we read that article I was basically anti-filter partially because that was the literature I was exposed to, thus far, and it made sense. Filters do not work well, etc.they block out sites containing words that in context are not obscene, as in Dick Cheney, Enola Gay. And then people argue over what constitutes obscene material, etc, etc, it never ends.

So my giving back to the web project is very shakey and basically non-existant at this point. And maybe the web doesn't really want my gift?

Tomorrow I am presenting on the web searh directory FindLaw. Visually, I think it looks like yahoo, with the little icon buttons to the right and left fo the FindLaw logo. It was slim pickins when I finally got around to picking my search engine. I wanted AskJeeves cause it is the most useless search engine ever and to expound on that topic would be pretty easy.

Anyway, I end up with FindLaw. It seems like a good site, pretty reputable. It is affiliated with the West Group which my newbie lawyer friend Mark says is a pretty big deal in the law world. Without knowing that affiliation he told me a 101 reasons why the site sucks. He went on and on about how each state has different laws, and within each state laws are interpreted differently all the time. So if you acutally need this information, say you recently got picked up for a DUI, or you think you are a good bankruptcy candidate, you aren't going to get too too far with the info you find on this site. Plus it has tons of advertisements all over it for different lawyers, and obviously they are the lawyers who paid the most money to get the ad spots, not the necessarily the best lawyers in that field.

Before Mark the Lawyer tore the site a new one, I kind of thought it was a good search directory. Actually I still think it is good, but with some careful qualifications. In life and death, dire situations such as the ones where you are seeking legal advice, the best advice is probably not found on any website. If you are in a serious situation, you should be talking to a lawyer. And FindLaw has a lawyer directory, but I am not sure how you become a part of it..I am guessing you have to pay.

Plus you can get a free email addy there @justice.com..which I think is kind of neat. Not many people have justice.com addresses.

2003-03-15T22:26:00.000-08:00

I am in the midst of weekend numbero two of working this weekend. It is strange how quickly one gets spoiled into thinking that everyone should have off on the weekend, and to have to work the weekend is just awful. No exageration, I have worked every weekend for five years, (well every Saturday, most of them the 6:45-3 shift) when I worked at a bank. It took all of one month to fall out of that used to working-is-normal-for-the-weekend-mode-of-functioning. I do not remember the person who had to get up almost every Saturday at 5:30 and put on pantyhose and ugly bank-approved outfits. I haven't seen that side of 5:30 AM since I stopped working there. Come to think of it I haven't worn pantyhose either. Major selling point of library work--no hose.

The highlight of my day today was acting as a shelver, due to the current shortage at my library. We will not be hiring anymore either, due to it 'not being in the budget.' Shelving is thankless unfufilling work really. Especially in the children's section. You get teh books on the shelf all nice and proper, and a three year old manages compeltely destroy the oder you jsut created with absolutely no effort on thier part. I actually think my high school job of being a bagger/cashier at the Jewel was more rewarding. Plus, it does not take long to be making above the minimum wage, where as that is not the case as a page.

2003-03-14T09:53:00.000-08:00

The Internet project is going.

2003-03-11T21:22:00.000-08:00

I am all done with my Cataloging midterm!!!!
Phew. In hindsight, as with most tests, I wish I had prepared more, but all in all I think I did just fine. Like I stated earlier, I am in the "better" section that most people desire to be in, so I know I am pretty well off.

I am trying to look at my life from the glass-half full perspective, and I think I am doing a good job of that lately! My midterms are all taken care of, save a paper to turn in Thursday, but all that is needed to do for that is the bibliography, so I am in the clear. My job still bites, but that is A-OK. It is not my permanent station, and sooner or later I will locate a full-time job. I really really hope for sooner, but if not so soon, that is ok, too. I sent my resume out, with good cover letters, and so far have not turned up any good luck, but maybe I am better off.

I mean some people think that some force, or fate, or what-ever-have-you is ruling over the world, and things always turn out for the best. I personally don't think this (it is too simplistic..a mighty guardian making sure things work out for you and you are safe? Everyday life could be offered as proof against that some might argue). But anyways if there is some better "destination" (meaning job expirience) out there for me, in that case, I am not suppsoed to ahve gotten those jobs, and the best one for me is yet to come. I got out of my thinking "I just should have stuck with business" funk, thankfully.

I love reading, and I love books, and I love the library environment, and I know this is what I should be and will be doing. I know that if I wouldn't have doen this I would have spent forever envying anyone who does work in a library, and always wonder what I might have been able to do, if I would have been ballsy enough (pardon my language, I really couldn't think of a more appropriate term. Courageous, daring, challenging...all these terms don't really convey my meaning, plus they remind me of Jack London novel adjectives. Yuck-- Call of the Wild) to just suck it up and go to library school. Does it require 'daring' to go to library school?

For me it did.

It was scary, expensive, potentially leading to a lower wage career, and really not within my Jen status quo. And as they say, it is easier to keep doing soemthing you dislike and be in the familar, than leave your comfort zone, for the unfamliar.

But I know this is a good thing, and the best thing for me. I am really not trying to write Jen-affirmations, but as my blog states it is my life as a library grad student, and this is an aspect of my life, along with my YS job, knowing I would rather be in most any other area of a public library, my pursuit of those other areas, my family, my friends, oh and actually attending classes.

2003-03-10T20:13:00.000-08:00

Favorite Literary Quotation

Partially because the my Google Group post involved this book, and parially because my friend Meg told me it was a good book, and partially because I used to be an avid Oprah devotee, I decided to read Jonathan Franzen's The Corrections. I am nearly finished, and for the most part, I enjoyed the book. My co-worker called it 'goofy' and said the only reason anyone ever paid any attention to this book was because he shot down Oprah's offer to be a part of her book club. That might be so, but I found a particular passage of the text ringing so completely true, I took note of it, and wanted to discuss it on my blog. The passage is as follows: "And when the event, the big change in you life, is simply as insight--isn't that a strange thing? That absolutely nothing changes except that you see things differently and you're less fearful and less anxious and generally stronger as a result: isn't it amazing that a completely invisible thing in your head can feel realer than anything you've expirienced before? You see things more clearly and you know that you're seeing them more clearly. And it comes to you that this is what it means to love life, this is all anybody who talks seriously about God is ever talking about. Moments like this."(p. 302) I loved this quote! I reread it about 4 times before I moved on with reading. It struck me as so true, that events do not really change people..I mean not in that life-affirming way. None really ever altered me at my core, affected me truely. No events were the magical turning points in my life, that made things O.K. or better, or different. And I have had many many life-altering, dire events in my life, that on the surface for an external vantage point changed my life so dramatically in the course of a few moments. But, really, what really altered was the moments when suddenly something happened in my brain or mind and I just was different. I was stronger, or weaker or of a different mindset, that made everything different, though no event changed it, or was the ignition of this permutation in me. I did nothing differently, I was wishing no harder or less for things to be different, for me to handle things, react, feel, and therefore be different. I am so grateful when it happens, and wish it happened with more frequency. On a different front, my Spring Break is over. Done. I miss it already. I have my Cataloging Midterm tomorrow. It is mildly freaking me out, but after the freak out of the presentation for my other midterm, nothign seems as bad or dire in comparision.

2003-03-04T19:09:00.000-08:00 Happy Fat Tuesday!! Tomorrow is Ash Wednesday, the kick-off of the Lenten season. In the past few years I have not been much of a follower of the Lenten dietary restrictions, but this year I am going to give it a go. Now that the whole no meat on Fridays and the lenten version of fasting is ironed out, I need to decide what, if anything to give up. I could give up coffee or pop, but on top of my other lenten observations that would make lent hellish, and that is not the purpose of lent right? Maybe the observations will suffice. Baby steps. 2003-02-28T08:56:00.000-08:00 Earlier in this semester I subscribed to what turned out to be a great listserve, for new librarians called NEWLIB-L. It is complete with controversy, job postings, and an amusing poster who writes thoughtfully about his expiriences as a librarian. I think he is somewhere in CA. Another listserv member recently suggested he should keep a blog. I would read it if he did. If wishing to subscribe as well, just click on the hyperlink above, and you will go to a page that describes how to join. 2003-02-26T11:53:00.000-08:00 This morning I awoke after a disturbing nightmare. It was Midterm induced. Here is how it went: I look at a clock, and it says a quarter to 1. My class starts at 1, and it is midterm day. My friend David and I are trying to get to class. We are rollarblading, to Dominican, in snow. It is not going well. While rollarblading I realize, I don't have shoes with me. I need to wear shoes to present my midterm presentation. All the sudden we are in a car, and I am still decked out in rollarblades. I plead with David that I need to go back home to get my shoes. He doesn't want to be any later than he already is, so he refuses to take me back home. I beg and beg, and finally I am home. I find shoes, and realize I am so beyond late for my presentation. I am third on the list, it is after 1, and I live about an hour from school. I am really screwed. I think of possible solutions. I can skip class, and call my prof, claiming strickening illness. But it is the midtem presentation, that probably won't float, seeing as he would not get my message until after class. Strickening illness always leaves at least enough time to call a few hours prior to class..everyone knows that. Car accident? My car is a 6 year old Escort that is currently pink due to salt, but if needed to provide proof, I have no battered car to show for it. In my dream I decide the only thing I can do is show up extremely late to class, and hope my prof shows mercy. Dream Analyzation: I am glad it was one of those nightmares after which I awoke befuddled, and not terrified. I have not rollarbladed in ages. And besides that, I am not one who uses physically demanding activities as modes of transportation. It makes you all sweaty. Yuck. David asked, "Are you nervous about your presentation?" Of course, you nut! I am anxious in general, even without impending public embarrassment. I always have weird dreams. Last May, when I was about to graduate from Saint Xavier I was plagued with dreams in which I had to return to high school. I couldn't remember my locker combination, or which exact locker was mine. It was awful, my orchestra teacher was yelling at me for not wearing 'McAuley red' on Spirit Day. Sr. Ellen was a spirit zealot who seemed to be under the impression that McAuley had copyrighted a specific shade of red. And not an aestetically appealing red, a noxious eye straining red, found on most items of McAuley paraphernalia. She gave me a lunch detention for wearing a maroon sweater one spirit day. She was drunk with power. 2003-02-22T16:07:00.000-08:00 Last night, I went to the show and saw the movie The Life of David Gale...I know it got totally panned by critics, and Ebert gave it no stars!!!! I was outraged..I actually really liked it. Relationally I do not understand how Old School earned one star....that crud movie is approxiamately 25% better than Gale?? hmmm...I disagree, completely. I know, I know, I have a rudimentary understanding of statistics, and the whole star ratings is not a mathmatical measure or grade, but for all intents and purposes it becomes one to the average moviegoer. Maybe not consciously, but somehow in some form, it takes on a comparable style. Not to worry I will be as vague as possible incase any on my substantial blog-readership is still hoping to see the movie. Ebert hated the ending, and yes I do agree upon contemplation the script is inherently flawed..it made zealots of everyone one involved, and it was gratuitously disturbing without need, but for some reason Kevin Spacey and all his movies are subject to a halo-effect in my mind. Maybe the movie did suck...but there is no way it sucked more than Old School. While waiting for the movie to start, I saw a preview for a movie ( I cannot recall the title) but it is made by the same people as Best in Show and a super great movie, Waiting for Guffman..which really made me want to go out and rent Guffman..I think I might have to wait until after my midterm. Or may be not. 2003-02-20T23:50:00.000-08:00 In the past I have been one who procrastinates, usually giving my presentation last, or slightly sooner. But this semester, I decided I would no! I will not be that person! So in choosing our midterm presentation dates, I chose the sooner of the two. The sooner being before spring break and the later being after. So in less than one week I have to give my midterm presentation..due to my extreme fear of public speaking, I am quite frightened of this prosept. The only thought that comforts me is that, this pit of dread in my stomach will be a memory in a week, instead of festering for an additional two weeks, will the second round of presentations. My topic is public relations in the public library. It is a pretty good topic, I think. I have 6 of the ten pages written so far, but I am not very concerned about the paper. The presentation(10 minutes!) is what weighs heavily in my mind. 2003-02-20T21:52:00.000-08:00 Current status of classes This semester I am taking three classes. They are going A-ok. LIS 770-Management class- It is an ok class..just ok. The readings are redolent of my undergrad studies in business management, which even though I despised it at the time (I was in the thick of my hating my major, what the hell will I do with my life phase), I am beginning to remember those days with 2003-02-14T13:28:00.000-08:00 Dang, it is not working..I guess I will have to wait until I have my sheet with me, and then my blog can be a rainbow of colors. * * * * Seeing as it is Valentines Day, I am going to report on all V-Day happenings- I gave my sister a cute little polar bear, a card, and part of her birthday gift. It was this really awesome belt, and I bought it a week ago. I am awful and holding onto gifts, as soon as I buy them I was to give them. My sissy Jill turns 21 on February 24, which coincidentally was Ash Wednesday of that year, 1982. And going to see my mom and sister at the hospital is my earliest memory..I remember my mom wearing this ugly green robe that I hated cause it was scratchy, and my dad taking my older brothers and me to the nursery, and seeing Jill for the first time as the nurse held her up for us to see her through the glass. I was remember being kind of excited, but I was excited to see my mom, not so much Jill. I don't think I really got who she was. When I was little I cursed that day, thinking how great it would have been if I was still the youngest, and how spoiled I would have been, being the only girl and the youngest...it took a long time to get over:) I think you really start becoming an adult when you get over that rivalry and really appreciate your siblings for the potential friends they are. When I was younger and my sister and I would fight, my mom would tell me how lucky I was to have a sister, someone to play with, and who would always be my friend. She said when she was little she always wished to have a sister(she had four brothers). I never agreed with what she said till I was about 20. * * * * * * * * * Also in honor of Valetine's Day I gave my dad a card and made him muffins. **************** And finally in honor of V-day, I got my boyfriend the CUTEST card ever-ever. It has many little cartoon pug dogs. I am absolutely in love with pugs, and it is a long standing joke between us. They are uber cute, so cute in fact, when I showed Jill, she went and got the same one for her boyfriend, Ray, who also adores pugs. I had no idea what to get my boyfriend..for Sweetest day he got me these awesome bookends from Bombay Co. and I made him cookies. I kind of wanted to make up for that, but I was clueless..we finally decided we would go, and he would pick something out from radioshack. He is forever wanting something or other from there. Romantic not really, but at least I know he will get what he wants. I neer realized how many people follow the norm and wear red..I think I am the only one at work who bucked that and wore gray. I was going to wear red, but I wanted to wear my red sweater tonight when I go out to dinner with Lee(my bf). I didn't want it to get all library from wearing it all day at work. 2003-02-14T13:17:00.000-08:00 RED 2003-02-14T12:35:00.000-08:00 That Happy Valentines Day was supposed to be in a lovely red/hot pink tone...but I screwed the HTML somehow..I do not have the sheet with the explicit instructions on it..maybe I should try using the color name and see how that works.... 2003-02-14T12:32:00.000-08:00 Happy Valentines Day! 2003-02-12T15:58:00.000-08:00 I am a bit at a loss as to what I will blog about this time around, so I think I will just ramble about stuff. It is still applicable to my blog's focus. I am still in the throes of hating my crudriffic job. Due to a story that is too long to explain and beyond my typing abilities to produce in a timely manner, I am stuck working two weekends in a row next month, but witout any gain in my near negative total of hours worked each of those weeks. I feel under-appreciated at my job. I know I am not the most stellar youth services worker of all time, but I think I do a pretty good job. I can be terribley quiet at times, but I am always pleasant (I am good at internalizing my negativity), I always work weekends without a fuss, I barely ask for time off so I am not a pain in scheduling, I help pages when my coworker sits her rear on the phone. I will voluntarily shelf read when nobody else does that. I do it all out of boredom...I feel like I am totally wasting my time here, even wasting time in library school sometimes. I am trying not to be negative, but maybe this crud is not for me...I got my bachelors in business management, and I ran right into library school, paritally cause I was scared. I told myself how much I hated business(I kind of did partially cause it all seemed like bs). Library school seemed like a luxury to me(so expensive, plus my already significant amount of undergrad debt), and I was also frightened of not being smart enough to do it. My dad says I am my own worst enemy, and I guess I agree. Nothing in my past indicated I was not "smart enough." My undergrad GPA was very good, not that I went to Harvard Business School but still, if I was a complete dolt, I would have been scraping amd begging for C's like some people were. Anyways, I was scared... and I flipped out my last semester, thinking maybe I should double major in something else..to compliment the management(that I hated so much) and someone said I just didn't want to leave school. And I guess I didn't. I am not sure if I made the right choice. My plans have gluesticked to this: I stay in craptacular job for the immediate future, while I search for a full-time job. Before I was hoping for a full-time library job, but my mounting debt, and my resistence to aid its exponential growth, has led me to broaden the search to basically most any full-time business job. Basically the kind I would have been searching for a year ago, had I not been into library school. Good case senario: finish this semester, start a fulltime job (hopefully) shortly thereafter, and finish library school part-time. This makes mountains of sense! See working fulltime allows me to not have to contribute to the student loan debt, and allows me to see if I really do dislike business as much as I thought I did. I have come to realize that no matter what job I end up in, all of it amounts to 'business'. All careers reek of all that organizational behavior and management stuff I learned. I think I might even like it, given the right amount of time and the right job. Plus my library dreams consist of academic librarianship...most of the classes I wish to take are not offered within my accelerated version of completing library school time frame..why spend all that money on classes that aren't even the ones I want? So I am hoping to get a fulltime job soon, and then hopefully with a little time, my scissor callous will be a memory. My classes this semester are going ok. I got into the version of 703 I wanted so that is going well. My main concern are my projects. My management class requires a fairly large midterm and final project, both presented(in addition to the massive papers). Plus this giving back to the web project..I still have no idea what to do...... 2003-02-05T15:17:00.000-08:00 This week our assignment in Internet class was to post on a listserve, and blog the results. Because on Google I did not find any listgroups pertaining to my blog (libraries), I decided to post on a literature blog. I like to read, I figured why not? The topic of the post to which I responded to on alt.literature is "Mailer: "fear for theserious novel.""The post contained some toughts of Norman Mailer's regarding how when he was in college in the 30's and 40's "writers were the marrow of a nation" citing Tolstoy, Dickens, Proust and Joyce. Mailer went on to state that Jonathan Franzen's "The Corrections" was a shadow of Franzen's possible talent and that he, and all other writers, should be trying for more" Mailer also said that bestsellers are always mediocre. That the writers who are most famous and making the most money are average, and that is substantially more true now than in the past. My thoughts I wrote were kind of scattered, but my thought is after my posting, is it safe to say that no matter what time period we are referring to, was there ever and American writer who was considered the "marrow of the nation?" The only one I can remotely name is Steinbeck, possibley. What I did say in my post was that currently who may "be" a writer is vastly different than who could have been one in the past...in the past most people were illiterate, and had to physically work so hard in order to survive, there was no possibility for them to write. Writing, in the past, was considered quite a luxury, pracitced only by those lucky enough to be literate, and in possesion of a lifestyle that they could afford in any degree to survive, while pursuing thier writing. Also I am a big fan of the mediorce bestsellers. I am literate and educated, and I have read many "great writers" of the past. But I really enjoy the "non-marrow writers of the nation" because I read to be entertained, and as I posted "A great writer's story profoundly touches me, inspires me, and speaks to some aspect of the human condition that often times I can identify with, even though superficially the sotry may be very different from my social and personal awareness." I made my post Saturday morning, and when I checked Saturday afternoon, my post was up, along with another response to Mailer's statements. The second respondent did not refer to my post, only Mialer's statements. I think these lists can be useful for people wishing to BS about this and that..though I am not sure I will use them in the future. 2003-02-01T10:46:00.000-08:00 In class the other day we viewed a painfully right-winged Christian (dont get me wrong I am Catholic, but not creepy conservative) video about the ills of pornography in the public library. There were serveral basic flaws in the suppositions about the library the video was addressing. These flaws made the video entertaining(along with the director/producers never graspign the concept of subtlety). First off, the total lack of subtlety- DO people really keep 3 feet by 4 feet wooden crosses on the wall above thier kitchen counters? And if they do, why? Do they fear they will forget which religion they are affiliated with? Did their interior decorator also design Cadillacs in the 50's? In order to make this video as universal as possible, the producers should ahve appealed to morality in general, not neccessarily one steeped in Christianity. By appealing to basic morality, the film could have had a wider audience of a cross-section of people of varying religious affiliations. Also the heavy use of pervy "mood music" while the bald, overweight man is using the Internet to get some porn. Oftentimes, while watching movies, I am one of the last people to catch on to vital plot points, but even I saw where this was going. I called it to the girl sitting next to me his next stop after the printer would be the restroom. Then while pervy man is hanging in the washroom, the 8 year old gets dropped off at the public library, all by himself. This is a vital aspect of the pornography debate that neither sides agree on, and therefore the conflict will never resolve. The public library is a PUBLIC place. And as an individual who has held many PT jobs at community "public" places(a bank, a grocery store, the mall), anyone with half a brain KNOWS that ANY public place attracts all the weirdos of the community. Blonde woman probably would not drop her kid off at the mall by himself right? Blonde woman wants to think the public library is a bastion of safe, fuzzy, unpervy people, but it just is not, soley because it is a public place. With or without unfiltered Internet terminals sexual predators still target children, in public places where children are often left unattended. The public library is for all intents and puposes an unsupervised place..there are librarians and library employees around, but they are not 'incharge' of anyone, even children. My library has a policy regarding the subject of unsupervised children in the library. Anyone under the age of nine is to be accompanied by an adult while in the library. Of course, there are many violations of this. Kids come in all the time, right after school, without parents. I am sure a few of them are under the age of nine. Parents choose this place for thier kids to go, because they mistakenly believe the library is a pseudo-day care, but it isn't. Mybe some public library choose to pursue this venture, and make thier library ultra family friendly. If the community wishes to make the library a completely secure area, in which children can and are left unattended, that is a desicion that needs to made within each community. I am not in favor of Internet filtering partially because in my working expirience I have not witnessed any of the undesired side effects. I have never seen a person, child or otherwise checking out porn sites, but then again, I usually go out of my way to not look over people shoulders while they are at computers. The Internet terminals at my workplace are in the middle of the library in plain veiw of many people and most of the library staff, so that might be a deterrent. Also, I am a firm beleiver in the argument that the filters do not work, and most importantly filter out words and information that is detrimental to information seekers. I do not think that the filters should not be in place because it is a patrons right to see whatever they want.. If people wish to see pronograghy they can knock themselves out, I just don't think that the public library should be the means to get it. So I guess my stance is kind of divided. I do not think people should be accessing porn at the public library. It is inappropriate, and simply not the mission of the public library to make sure everyone has porn at thier disposal. But I recognize that filtering systems do not work, and to comprimise the access to useful relevant information is not worth it. 2003-01-29T15:24:00.000-08:00 I regret not posting sooner this week, or posting more often. Part of my focus is all aspects of my life, as a Library Science student and part of that includes some interesting stuff I have found recently. My friend David pointed me in direction. Very neat site, and we both got a kick out of the trinkets link. Poor photography, so some of the details of the items are lost. We were able to discern that the 'Guybrarian' graphics included a grill, and a Road Rules-esque logo, with something like' ALA grade' on it. Also note the "Stuff they didn't teach us in library school" link...interesting, amusing and mostly disheartening stuff. I am easily disheartened, and for some reason my student loans are weighing heavily on my mind and in the pit of my stomach. If I mention my debt to my father, (I still live at home. It is free, and my net worth is roughly -30,000) his advice is I can keep borrowing to finish my education, and if worse somes to worse, I can always file bankrupcy. His 'helpful' advice does nothing to quell my apprehension. Still looking for a fulltime job. That would quell my apprehension, but probably spawn a whole new un-thought of barage of apprehension-worthy issues. Ahh well. Also: Today while I was cutting out an hour's worth of Leprechauns each with his accompanying pot o' gold, I got to thinking about aspects of my job that I just don't really like. Aspects that i just feel lame doing. Aspects that make me really want a new job. -Cutting out leprechauns. Most tasks that involve cutting out holiday-related construction paper shapes. I think I am developing a scissor callous . -How low those shelves are. I understand, kids are short, but that bottom one is a killer. I am basically laying on the ground, squinting, trying to make out the call numbers. -The fact that kids' parents, who are not much older than I, incite me to do this, while I am wearing dress clothes, and they stand around wearing jeans. These people are basically of the same agility as I. They are usually dressed less formally than I. They have found the call number themselves, oftentimes. They know where the book might be found. But, I am the one who gets to lay flat down on the ground squinting at the call numbers. -I beg my boss to get scheduled max 17 hours a week, while my coworker effortlessly gets scheduled 30+ hours a week. I need money too. It just irks me. I guess I could go on and on, but it all just makes me sound, and more importantly feel petty. It is not worth lamenting. Life is cyclical, and soon I will be done with school, an I will have a job in the field I desire. Repeat. Breathe. Repeat. Breathe. 2003-01-22T15:13:00.000-08:00 Right now I am working on my resume..I hate job searching. I am still not totally sure of what kind of job I want..I am thinking I need ot get a new one soon. Even though I am the type of person who sticks around for a while after I get hired, I am not so sure about my current job. It is a nice place, with even nicer co-workers, but as I previously stated, I work part-time in youth services, and in only 3 short months, I am certain that this is not the area of librarianship I want to pursue. Acutally I was probably pretty sure right off the bat that I didn't want to go into youth services, but I desperately wanted out of the bank teller situation, and this position was a flickering green light. Well, needless to say now it is fading and raunchy off-white in tone. I think I want to become an academic librarian. Or work in technical services, in a public library. The most lucrative aspect of working at a college or a university is the free classes I will be able to take. My student loans prohibit me from ever attending any more schooling in which I need to get a loan. Well, in all actuality I guess the government would probably let me keep on borrowing, but the nausea in the pit of my stomach when I think of how large my debt will be once I finish library school (esp. in relation to my probable starting salary) prohibits me. Also due to my mounting debt, the best thing for me to do would be to find a fulltime job ASAP, and finish off school at a slightly decelerated rate. So, in short, my job search is a tricky one. 2003-01-22T15:06:00.000-08:00 If the people at Blogger.com ever solicit some user feedback, I think a wonderful addition to the site would be a spell check option. Maybe there is one already, and it eludes me. 2003-01-17T11:15:00.000-08:00 Well, it is day 2 of my blog, and I feel before this blogs much further, I should explain the purpose of this blog, and a little about myself. As indicated, my name is Jennifer, and I am a grad student pursuing my MLS, at Dominican University River Forest, Illinois. Why I created this blog is simple: I had to. It is a requirement of my Internet class. The focus of the blog is to chronicle my pursuit if my degree, the evolution of a Librarian-in-Training. I started the program in Fall 2002, and hopefully, if all goes well, I will graduate in December 2003. My original aim was to complete the program in one calendar year, but within the first week of classes last Fall, my plans came unglued. I have been glue-sticking them ever since. The first step in my evolving into a librarian(apart from actually starting the program) was leaving my job as a bank teller on the southside of Chicago, and starting a job as a youth services assistant at a small suburban library. I was beyond thrilled at this point. In time the thrill has worn off, and I am sorry to say I am very tired of my job. It has its perks, but as one who sees the glass half-empty, I will fill you in on the things that make me dislike my job. 2003-01-16T19:22:00.000-08:00 I have just created my blog!